From the Rookie Archives: My First LA Drive

Another round in “OMG I was so young WTF was I thinking” files!

Enjoy this gem from a few short days after my move to LA. Once again, go back…wayyyyy back to pre iPhone reliability. And also pretend you’re fresh out of Missouri and in the first place in the world you’ve ever had to PAY for parking…

​​ Old School.


Ever since I moved to LA I have developed a habit of having miniature breakdowns roughly once every week.

Stress, bloating, and fatigue (yes menstrual systems also fall into play NOT during that lovely one week a month) are big on-sets but typically I just don’t see them coming.

So the first one that I can remember was when I had my first day of job interviews.

One was downtown and the other was across town with an agent I held in very high esteem. The job interview involved a laundry list of essay questions that I just stared at…why does a Mexican restaurant looking for a waiter need to know how i prefer to cook my eggs???

I honestly thought I rocked the interview…and then on the way out passed a girl who was wearing roughly 1/3 of the clothing I was.

I did not receive a position.

Regardless…when I was leaving I checked the “maps” application on my telephone [2017 Sam here: omg I wrote the words “Maps application on my telephone” HAHAHA] only to see my appointment in Hollywood (Sunset blvd…yea I thought I was cool) was going to take me, according to the estimation, over 13 hours.

Now you have to remember, I had driven in this town maybe twice now (the larger parts of the city anyway) and the only thing I really knew about LA was there was HORRIDNESS traffic. So many warnings and complaints and worries were placed in my head, that at 3pm on a Tuesday, I saw I was going to be roughly 12.5 hours late for my first EVER agent appointment.

Imagine for a second the midwestern-panic that ensued in my head (let alone the fact that I was walking/running back to my car on a solid down-hill slope in heels that I clearly thought would land me the job but in retrospect and after seeing my naked competition, regretted deeply).

It took about 20 minutes of tear-welled eyes and jacking with my car GPS before it spit out my directions (because god forbid i broke the Cali-law that you can’t have a phone in your hand while driving) and that nagging woman’s voice told me I was well within my time frame. []
2017 Sam here: yup, I had a separate GPS mounted to my windshield like a good 2012 lady!

What the hell???
Oh wait…i had my phone set to “walking” not “driving”.

So in case you needed to know, it takes about 13 hours to walk from Grand St. downtown to Sunset Blvd…I still think i could beat that.

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